


Aftermath

by NukeRose



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-09 19:11:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8908567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NukeRose/pseuds/NukeRose
Summary: Ryan Kane is dead. Lukas and Philip are safe. So what comes next? How will the two boys recover in the immediate aftermath of what has been the most horrifying experience of their lives?





	1. Safe.

The ambulance started moving down the road, but all I could think of was Philip. My dad sat at my side, my hand clutched tightly in his. Faintly, I could hear the ambulance driver radioing in that they were taking me back to the hospital in Poughkeepsie. I groaned at the mere thought of going back to that place. Had it really been less than a day? Had it really only been hours since Philip came flying back into the ward in a state of panic with my clothes and yelling at me to get dressed, and that we had to run. Only a few hours ago, Philip and I were in a hotel room together making love for the first time. The events of the last half day thunder through my mind like a raging torrent, and it only makes my head hurt.

Philip…

Philip wasn't here. He should be here. Why isn't he here? I groaned in distress, tears beginning to fall, and my dad immediately refocused his attention on me.

"Lukas? You okay, son?" He asked, his caring tone only taking me slightly off guard.

"D-Dad… where's P-Philip?" I asked tearfully, "I-Is he okay? P-Please t-tell me he's o-okay…"

The heart monitor started speeding up as my heart rate increased.

"Lukas, you gotta calm down…"

"W-Where is h-he?" I asked again as I started growing hysterical, "W-Where is my b-boyfriend? He h-has to b-be okay…"

"Lukas, I'm sure Philip is fine…"

"B-But y-you don't k-know that!" I sputtered, "H-He has t-to be, d-dad… He j-just has to be…"

I dissolved into tears, and his grip on my hand tightened. The ambulance sped up, which I assumed meant that we had turned back onto the main road. Dad didn't say anything else for a bit, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb in an attempt to give comfort.

"H-How long?" Dad asked.

"H-How long what?" I asked in confusion.

"How long have you and Philip been… you know…? Together?" He asked, and I tensed.

I looked at him fearfully, but instead of anger and disgust, I saw only a slightly uncomfortable look of nervousness and curiosity.

"D-Dad…" I croaked, "I-I'm s-sorry…"

"You ain't got nothing to be sorry for, son." Dad interrupted before I even finished my sentence, "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you like I should have been. I'm sorry that you felt like you couldn't tell me these things…"

"I tried not to be this way." I told him tiredly, "I tried to stop. I tried to change. I tried to like Rose, I really did. It just… didn't work. I didn't want to be this way… but Philip's changed all of that."

"I misjudged him." Dad admitted, "Badly."

"Yeah, you did." I agreed, "It was my fault he was even involved in the first place. He was helping me film footage of me on my bike and afterwards we went to the cabin. We were making out when the shootings happened. Philip saw the guys face…"

"And because of that you survived." Dad said, "He saw him coming and got you the hell outta there. He did good."

"He's gotta be okay, Dad." I repeat, "I couldn't live with myself if he wasn't."

"Okay, I'll tell you what." Dad said, "I'll call Gabe and ask him. Okay?"

"Please."

Dad pulled out his phone, and dialed the number. After a wait that seemed like forever, the call finally went through, and dad put it on speakerphone.

"Bo? What is it? We're right behind you guys." Gabe's voice answered.

"Lukas wants to know if Philip is okay." Bo responded, "He's panicking."

"Shit, okay. I'll give him the phone." Gabe said.

A few seconds later…

"Lukas?" Philip's voice asked. It was shaky, and I could tell from his tone that he was just barely holding back tears, "I'm o-okay. I promise. I'm not even hurt."

The overwhelming sense of relief I felt was unbelievable. It felt as if an inferno had just been extinguished.

"Philip… Is he…?" I asked.

"He's dead." Philip said, "I'll tell you more about it later. We're right behind you. Gabe, honk the horn."

From outside I heard the horn sound as Gabe laid on it.

"See? I'll see you in a minute."

I sagged against the gurney from relief.

When we got to the hospital, Philip was taken off for a checkup of his own. I could hear him protesting as I was wheeled off to my room.

Minutes later, Philip thundered into the room with Gabe hot on his trail. His gaze landed on me, and not even a second later, he practically leapt on me to hug me tightly to him. I threw my own arms around him, hugging him back just as tightly. Gabe excused himself, shooting me a relieved smile as he went. Philip pulled back, and we stared at each other for a split second before I lurched forward and connected our lips. I knew my dad was standing there, I just didn't care anymore.

"You're alright." I whimpered as we separated, resting our foreheads together, "I was so scared."

"So was I." He said softly.

"We all were." Dad agreed.

It was at that moment Philip remembered that my dad was still in the room, and he pulled away to sit on the edge of the bed. Philip eyed my dad nervously.

"Mr. Waldenbeck." Philip greeted with a polite nod.

"Philip…" Dad said gently, "After everything you've done, you can call me Bo."

"Uh… Okay, sir." Philip said, "Sorry… it's kind of weird."

"Yeah, I get it, kid." Dad said, "How you feeling?"

"Shaken." Philip said, "Relieved. God… I can't believe it's actually over. All the fear, all the trouble… it's over. We're safe. Lukas is safe…"

"And that's thanks to you." Dad said, "You did good, Philip. Getting him out of here when trouble came knocking, taking care of him like you did… You did good."

"…Thanks." Philip said.

"You're always welcome at our place." Dad continued, "It's the least I can do to thank you for keeping my boy safe."

"I love him, sir." Philip said as I stared at him with wide eyes at his confession, "I'd do anything for him. Hell… to be honest, I already have."

"Yeah, he _will_ be treating you better from now on, believe you me." Dad said, focusing narrowed eyes on me, "I haven't forgotten about all that yet."

I winced.

"I was scared…"

"And I get that kid, but that's no reason to treat people that way." Dad lectured, "You hit him, called him names, and then you told us lies about him making him sound like some criminal. That was unacceptable on every single level."

"I-I know it w-was." I said tearfully, "And I regret every minute of it."

"Good. Learn from it, then." Dad said, "Make sure it doesn't happen again."

"It won't. I…" I started to say, clearing my throat before I continued, "I don't know if I'm ready to just, come out to everybody when we go back to school, but I'm not gonna treat him like dirt again. I'm not gonna let anybody else do it either. And when we're not at school, I don't care who sees us anymore. They don't like it, they can shove it."

"Good boy." Dad said, "I'm gonna head home and get some stuff. You need anything?"

"My iPod would be nice." I said, "And my laptop."

"Sure thing." Dad said, rising from his seat and heading towards the door, "I'll be back in a bit."

With that, Dad took his leave, leaving Philip and I alone. Philip slid off the bed and into the chair my Dad had just vacated.

I exhaled loudly.

"I told you that you were the only one that had a problem with it." Philip said in a smug voice.

"Yeah, yeah." I said, waving it off, "I know when to admit I'm wrong."

"Were you serious?" He asked, "About being out outside of school?"

"Yeah. I promise." I assured, "And I'm not gonna make you wait too long to come out at school either. Give me a little time, maybe a month, and I'll be ready. I promise."

He nodded.

"I told you in the hotel room that we would do what you wanted to do." Philip reminded me, "I still mean it."

"I know you do." I said, remembering the events in that room with a smile.

Philip noticed my smile and deduced what I was thinking about.

"Really, gutter-brain?" He said with a roll of his eyes.

"Yeah, really." I teased back with a smile, "Can you blame me for smiling about it? It was… It was great."

"It was?" Philip asked.

"Yeah."

"I was… scared I was going to hurt you the whole time." He said.

"Hey, you didn't hurt me." I assured him, "You took care of me. I've never felt that loved by anybody before."

Philip blushed, and we both fell silent until a question that had been nagging me since earlier had sprung back to the forefront of my mind.

"Hey, uh, can I ask you something?" I asked.

"Sure, go ahead." He said.

"Um. How did you get away from him?" I asked.

Philip looked at me for a few seconds.

"He couldn't do it." Philip said.

"What?" I asked, "What do you mean?"

"In the end, he couldn't do it." Philip continued, "He couldn't kill me… he just let me go."

"Seriously?" I asked, my jaw dropping.

"Yeah. He raised the gun at Helen, then she shot him." Philip went on, "When she checked his gun, the damn thing didn't even have a clip in it. After everything, he couldn't do it. He told Helen he couldn't do it, that he couldn't kill me…"

"Why?"

"He didn't want to do that to her, I think." Philip explained, "He said he couldn't do it to me because I was _her boy_."

"Shit. That's… lucky as hell." I said, not knowing how else to put it.

"Yeah and… and he was crying." Philip recounted, "He was friggin crying."

"…I guess even monsters can feel things." I said.

"Yeah. I guess." Philip agreed.

"What I can't figure out though," I continued, "How the hell did he even know where we were going? How did he know we'd be at your old place?"

I looked to him for an answer, but I was alarmed at what I found. His eyes immediately filled with tears and his lower lip started to tremble. He choked back a sob, and wiped his eyes furiously.

"Because he was the one sending the message." Philip said, his voice wobbling dangerously.

"What do you mean?" I asked in confusion, "They were coming from your mom's phone…"

"I know they were… it was still him." Philip said, trembling violently.

I stared at him for a second, before I realized what he was implying. I gasped in horror, and reached for his hand to hold it tightly in mine.

"Philip… Is she…?" I asked.

Philip stared at the blankets. Slowly, he made eye contact and nodded.

"He did it." Philip said shakily, "He did the same thing he did to Tommy and Tracy. Made it look like a h-heroin o-overdose."

No sooner had he finished his sentence than it became too much for him to handle. The sobs began as the floodgates burst. I pulled on his hand, and he stood from his seat and crawled into the bed next to me. He curled into my side, burying his head in the crook of my neck. I put my arm around him and hugged him to me.

"I'm so sorry, Philip." I said sadly, "I know how it feels. I'm here for you. Whatever you need."

"Just… just hold me and don't let go." Philip said quietly.

"I promise." I said softly, placing a kiss to the top of his head.

I started stroking his hair softly.

"Philip?" I asked.

"Hmm?"

"Did you mean it?" I asked.

"Did I mean what?" He responded.

"When you said that… that you love me." I clarified, "Did you mean it?"

"…Uh, yeah. I did." He admitted.

I placed another kiss to the top of his head.

"Remember when we were sitting under the tree?" I asked, "And you said that thing about a stomach ache being a sign that you're in love?"

"Yeah."

"I think I know what you mean now." I admitted, "Because it does. It does ache, but it's a good ache. I… I love you too, Philip."

His hold on me tightened, and he released a shuttering breath. I placed a kiss to the top of his head and he snuggled up to me. We lay there together, and a few minutes later, he fell asleep. I watched him sleep, not remembering the last time I had seen him so relaxed or at peace.


	2. Party at Red Hook

A month has passed, and things have mostly returned to a semblance of normal. Philip and I are both seeing a therapist to help us deal with everything that has happened. I had so far kept my promises to treat him like my boyfriend in public, and he had kept to his promise to keep it private at school. At school, we acted like we were best friends. At first, people had looked at us funny. After all, just weeks previously we were quite literally slugging it out in the hallway and now we are palling around everywhere. It gave my friends quite a shock, and a few of them voiced their objections to his continued presence by asking why I was hanging out with my "stalker".

We had been sitting at lunch that day. It was a week after I was released from the hospital, and two weeks after Agent Kane's death. It was my first day back at school, and Philip and I walked into the cafeteria to sit down. Minutes later, my other friends arrived to sit down, and all of them seemed confused as to why the hell Philip was there. I stared at them as they all approached. Rose hugged me gently, and sat down next to Philip. Everybody else said welcome back in some fashion before sitting sat down around us. Philip looked highly uncomfortable. Several of them were glaring at Philip as they sat. He was avoiding the conversation going around us completely. He sat in his seat, his head down as he ate his sandwich in silence. I nudged him to get his attention.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He mumbled.

"You sure?" I asked in concern, "You're being awfully quiet."

One of the guys snorted in derision. I immediately focused on him through narrowed eyes.

"You got something to say Dennis?" I questioned sharply.

"Of course he's being quiet, Lukas." Dennis said as he sneered at Philip, "Sitting there ignoring everybody like he's above all of us."

"Or maybe I'm ignoring you because you lower my IQ just by speaking." Philip retorted with a roll of his eyes, "I'm gonna fail my classes if I don't ignore it."

Dennis narrowed his eyes when I did not defend him.

"What, you're just gonna let him talk to me that way?" Dennis asked.

"Since I agree with him, yes." I retorted.

Dennis glared at both of us for a minute, before going back to his food

Philip had stopped looking uncomfortable and began looking depressed.

"Maybe I should just go…" Philip said and started to rise to leave.

"No." I said sternly, reached out, and grabbed his arm to pull him back down into his seat.

"Just let him go, Lukas." Dennis sneered, "Nobody wants this faggot here anyway…"

His insult was interrupted by a lacrosse stick being slammed down in front of him from over his head, causing his food to splatter and his drink to spill all over him. He swore and whirled behind him to face his attacker, but his anger disappeared and was immediately replaced by a visible "oh shit" look.

"Continue that sentence, and I will shove this stick up your ass." The attacker growled deeply, "We'll see if it can fit up there, even with your head up there with it. Now get the fuck out of here."

Dennis's face turned an embarrassed shade of pink as he stood and stomped off to replace his lunch and find a new seat.

I smiled and greeted my friend as he took his seat.

"Sup, Isaac?" I greeted.

"Sup, bro?" Isaac said with a toothy grin, "Glad to have you back, man. You scared the shit out of us."

Isaac Besser was my closest friend. I have know him since his first day in Tivoli. He was of average height and sturdy build, and had long brown hair that was tied away in a ponytail that stretched to the middle of his back, and facial hair that was thick for his age. His eyes, a dark brown, held a constant spark that promised mischief. He was blunt, goofy, loyal to a fault, perpetually crazy, loud, occasionally violent against people he disliked, and my brother in all but blood.

Even he looked slightly confused at Philip's presence, but he only looked confused for a second before he masked it with a friendly smile.

"Don't mind Denny, Philip." Isaac said, "He's got a serious case of Assholitis."

Philip snorted.

"Good one." Philip said.

"Thanks." Isaac said, "I've been waiting a while to pull that one out."

"I'm sure you have." Philip said.

The silence that followed was much more amicable than the one that had preceded it. Another one of the guys, Andrew, spoke up next.

"Um, Lukas?" He asked.

"What, Andy?"

"Not to be rude or anything…" Andy continued, "But, why _is_ he here?"

"Because I said he can be here." I said, my tone sharp.

"We know that, but… well what changed?" Aaron, Andy's twin brother asked, "A couple of weeks ago you two were fighting in the hallways and you were accusing him of stalking you. What's different?"

"I've given up being an asshole for a while." I said, "That's what's different."

"Still though, Lukas…" Andy started to ask, and I snapped.

"He's saved my fucking life twice, that's why." I finally blurted angrily.

Everybody stared at me, their eyes cautious and waiting for further explanation.

"I'll tell you, but I am only going to say this once." I said, "After that, I don't ever want to hear about it again. Understood?"

Everybody nodded.

"Philip was with me the night of the murders." I explained.

"Why was he with you?" Isaac asked, genuinely curious.

"He was helping me. Filming footage for my channel." I said, not lying but not telling the full truth either, "We went to the cabin for a beer, and while we were there… well, you guys know."

"Lukas… man, you don't have to say anything else if you don't want to." Isaac interjected, "We know it was some crazy shit that went down."

"I said I'd tell you, so I'm going to." I said, slightly irritated at the interruption, "Anyway, Philip hid under the bed. He saw the killer's face, I didn't. The killer noticed him and was gonna shoot, but I hit him with a pan and we both ran. I didn't want anybody to know we were there, or for the guy to find us, so I basically threatened Philip into keeping it quiet. He still found me. He shot me, and Philip dove in and pulled me out of the water so I didn't drown. He put pressure on the bullet wound until the ambulance got there. Later on, at the hospital, we were hiding and he saw the killer coming from a window. He got me dressed and got me out of there. He saved my life."

Isaac looked at us. Rose reached up and squeezed Philip's shoulder once and offered him a smile.

"Without Philip, I wouldn't be here." I continued, "So that's why he's here. Don't ask again."

Isaac eyed Philip for a moment, before holding a hand out to him.

"Welcome to the madhouse, dude." Isaac said as he shook Philip's hand, "If you're not crazy yet… don't worry, we'll train you."

Philip smiled at that. Isaac encouraged Philip to join in on the conversation more, and I pulled him aside later to thank him for making him feel welcome.

Anyway, back to the present. The party.

We stopped by my house to swap out my bike for my old one, and then we set off to the party. When we arrived ten minutes later, the music was already blaring and people were standing on the porch. Philip trailed behind me by several steps.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Are we really going to do this?" He asked, "Are you really going to kiss me in front of everybody?"

"Well, that was the plan." I said, "Why, is that not okay, or…?"

"No, it's fine." Philip said quickly, "Come on."

We walked toward the house and headed around to the backyard.

"Jesus Christ… I thought it was a party." Philip said, "This is more like a small concert."

Indeed it was. All of Isaac's parties tended to be gigantic productions. There was always a large amount of booze, and Isaac always had his band there to play, even building a small stage. Isaac was on stage. We must have arrived at the end of a song, because the music stopped and he took notice of our arrival.

"YO LUKAS!"

Isaac practically bounced off the stage toward us, and the rest of the band left the stage to get drinks. He walked up to me and gave me a one armed hug, before slinging his arm around mine and Philip's shoulder.

"S'about friggin time the king decided to grace us with his presence." Isaac teased jokingly, "We were starting to think you were giving up the throne."

I laughed and rolled my eyes at him, while Philip just looked confused.

"King?" He asked.

"What, you didn't know?" Isaac said, "You ever noticed how whatever Lukas usually says at school is taken as gospel? That whenever somebody does something to get on his bad side or piss him off, they're pretty much screwed?"

"Um, yeah." Philip agreed, "Believe me, I noticed."

I could tell that he was remembering how everybody had believed the lies I had spread about him and basically turned him into a leper. I winced with guilt.

"That's because he's the king." Isaac continued.

"That's the biggest crock of bullshit I've ever heard." Philip said.

"It actually isn't." Isaac insisted, "When we were kids, I used to call him that as a joke. When we got to middle school, he was instantly popular. One day at lunch, I called him that, and people heard it. It kind of stuck. It became a sort of inside joke in our grade at school, all because I like to take my jokes to the very limit just to make Lukas irritated."

"And you wonder why I question people's sanity, Lukas?" Philip said.

"I know it's stupid." I admitted, "I hated it at first. It still drives me crazy sometimes, but does help when people listen to what you have to say."

"Helps increase your ego, you mean?" Philip snarked, "If Lukas is the _king_ , what does that make you then, Isaac? The crown prince?"

"HA! Prince? Fuck that." Isaac laughed, "I'd be his enforcer. The Darth Vader to his Emperor."

Lukas snorted at that.

"God, you're a nerd." Lukas said.

"Hey, fuck _right_ off, man." Isaac responded, "Star Wars is the shit! Philip, tell him Star Wars is the shit!"

"Lukas, Star Wars _is_ the shit." Philip agreed.

"See, Lukas?" Isaac said, "Star Wars is the shit."

"Good _god,_ how drunk are you right now?" Philip asked.

"I'm not!" Isaac said with a giddy bounce, "I'm just hyper from adrenaline. Always am when I get up there. It's awesome, you both should try it."

"Uh, no." Philip laughed, "I don't sing."

"Neither do I." I said.

"Yes you do, you're just chicken."

"Really? Chicken?" Philip guffawed, "That's the best you've got?"

"Anyway! We have something to tell you." I interrupted.

"Yeah? What is it?" Isaac asked.

I looked at Philip shyly, and reached for his hand to entwine his fingers with mine. Philip stepped closer, so that we were standing side by side with only about an inch of space between us. Isaac looked at us confused for a minute before realization dawned and his face split into a wide grin.

"No way…" He said.

"Yes way." I said.

"You're fucking with me." Isaac insisted.

"We're not fucking with you." Philip said.

"I don't believe you!" Isaac said, still bouncing.

"Well, believe it, because we're not joking." I said.

"Prove it." Isaac said.

Philip and I looked at each other.

"Shall we?" I asked.

"If you want to…" Philip said.

"I do." I said as I brought my hand up to cup his cheek.

"Then do it already." He said, and who was I to disobey.

I leaned forward and captured Philip's inviting lips with mine, and his mouth opened to allow me entrance. We separated after only a moment, and looked around to see that half the people at the party were staring at us in shock.

Isaac practically squealed

"The King has chosen his consort!" He shouted, "It's about fucking time, dude!"

"Yeah, I know, right?" I said, smiling widely as Philip put an arm around my waist.

"You gotta tell me the full story sometime, bro." Isaac demanded, "I _need to know_!"

"I will, I promise, but not now!" I promised, "Your band is ready for you, get back up on stage."

"They are? Oh hey, they are!" Isaac said, stumbling off towards the stage, "Thanks, bro!"

We watched him stumble back on stage and start singing before Philip and I looked at each other. We only made it five seconds before we broke and started laughing.

"He's drunk, isn't he?" Philip asked.

"Oh he's fucking hammered." I confirmed, "He just doesn't want to admit it. So… you wanna dance?"

"I don't know how." Philip said.

"I don't either, so we can embarrass ourselves together." I countered.

"Okay, fine then." Philip said with a goofy grin, "Let's do it."

Anybody watching would be able to tell you that we had no skill whatsoever in dancing. But when the band started playing a slow song, the world faded away. It was just Philip and I, swaying gently back and forth in each other's arms. We were finally safe. We were finally together and fully in the open, and we were finally, truly happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment with any suggestions or to point out any mistakes. Should I continue this, or leave it here?


	3. One Step Forward, One Step Back.

Going back to school for the first time after the party in Red Hook was probably one of the weirdest experiences I have ever had. When Philip and I walked into the school with Rose and Isaac at our sides, I expected either vilification or indifference… or both. Instead, most people looked upon us as if we were an interesting oddity that needed to be studied. Several times people said hello to Philip in the hallway, leaving him looking thoroughly confused. Apparently word of our relationship had spread to the rest of the school like wildfire. What shocked us most was that two other couples had followed our example and came out too. Two freshmen boys came up to us with their hands linked and thanked us. A pair of sophomore girls was seen kissing in the hallways after third period, and they winked at us as we passed.

When we arrived at lunch that day, the rest of the guys greeted the both of us with acceptance. Several people went so far as to try to engage him in conversation, and Philip, being highly unfamiliar with friendly treatment from my friends, was left stunned speechless.

"I don't get it." Philip said with a confused shake of the head.

"Don't get what?" Andy asked.

"Why are you all being nice to me?" Philip asked, "You never bothered before. None of you did."

"We thought you were some weird kid who was stalking our friend and coming onto him and not taking no for an answer." Aaron answered, "We didn't know you two were actually into each other behind the curtain."

"Yeah, dude." Andy said, "If we'd known what was going on we would never have said any of the shit we did… well, except maybe Dennis."

Yeah, there was that. Upon entering the cafeteria and finding Philip and I sitting together with our hands linked, he had scoffed in disgust and taken a seat by himself several tables away. He was currently glaring at us. Isaac turned around and leveled a truly frightening glare at him, and Dennis very quickly focused his attention on his food, angrily stabbing his mashed potatoes as if they had just insulted his mother.

"He's not gonna try something, is he?" Philip asked worriedly.

"Don't worry about him." Isaac said, "He may talk a big talk, but he's pathetic."

"Are you sure about that?" Philip asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Isaac assured, "He throws a lousy punch and he's dumb as rocks. You'd be fine even if he were planning something. Can you throw a punch?"

"Yes, he can." I interjected, rubbing my jaw absentmindedly as I recalled the right hook he threw at me during our big fight in the hall months ago.

"Well then, you're good, Phil." Isaac said with a wave of his hand, "You could probably lay him out flat. Go for his right knee, it's always been his week spot."

"I'll remember that." Philip said seriously.

"Oh for god sake, don't encourage him." Rose said exasperatedly, "He's already bloodthirsty enough as it is without adding fuel to it."

"Hey if it keeps them safe, bloodthirsty is appropriate." Isaac snarked darkly, "Unless you'd prefer me tell Phil to just lie down and take a beating, _your highness_?"

"How many times have I told you NOT TO CALL ME THAT?" Rose thundered.

"I lost count." Isaac said nonchalantly.

"Sociopath." Rose insulted.

"I'm Bipolar." Isaac responded, "If you're gonna call me sick in the head, at least get it right, bitch."

"Isaac, knock it the fuck off." I said angrily, "I've had enough of that shit. If you can't talk without bickering then both of you keep your mouths shut."

"Do they do this often?" Philip asked in confusion.

"Oh yeah, you haven't seen it yet, have you?" I remembered, "Yeah, they're always fighting about something. It's almost a game to them now, to be honest."

"That's stupid." Philip said.

"I know it is, but what can you do?" I said.

"Lock them in a room together until they sort shit out?" Philip suggested.

"No. I've seen enough blood in the last few months, thanks." I said without thinking.

Philip froze in his seat, tensing up. I realized too late what I'd just said, and had to resist the urge to slap myself. Of course Philip would be sensitive about stuff like that after what happened.

"Shit… I shouldn't have said that." I backtracked quickly, "I'm sorry, Philip. I didn't think…"

"You can't joke about things like that." Philip said quietly, "Not anymore. Not after what happened."

Philip rose from his seat, detaching our hands and hurrying from the cafeteria. I called after him, but my shout went ignored. I deflated in my seat.

"Dammit." I said, pinching the bridge of my nose to stave off the incoming headache.

I made to get up and go after him, but Isaac pulled me back into my seat.

"Give him a minute to collect himself, dude." He suggested, "Then go after him."

I yanked my hand out of Isaac's hold.

"I'm not leaving my boyfriend alone when he's like that." I said crossly.

I turned and practically ran from the cafeteria. It barely registered that I'd finally referred to Philip as my boyfriend aloud in public for the first time.

I found Philip sitting by himself on the front steps to the school. He had his knees pulled to his chest and he was staring at the cars passing. I sighed and sat down next to him. He leaned into my side, resting his head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, "I shouldn't have said that…"

Philip merely nodded.

"I just… Things are starting to feel normal again." I explained gently, "I forget that I need to watch myself sometimes. Things are so good now, and I just forget…"

"I know." Philip said, "Its okay."

"It's not okay, Philip." I said softly, "I hate it when I upset you. I've already done that too many times, I don't want to do it anymore."

"You didn't do it on purpose this time." Philip reminded, "I'm not mad at you. I promise. It's just gonna take a while for me to really get over everything that happened."

"I know. Me too." I said, "I still have nightmares about it sometimes, among other things."

"What other things?" Philip asked.

"Anything that sounds like a gunshot, I panic." I confessed, "My bike backfired the other day and it sent me into a panic attack."

"You never told me that." Philip said and wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"Yeah, I… I didn't want to make you worry." I said.

"Lukas, I think after everything that's happened we're allowed to worry just a little bit." Philip said.

"I don't want to worry anymore." I said.

"I know. I don't either." Philip said, "But we can't help it. I just try to remind myself that we're safe. We've made it, Lukas. We're not in danger anymore."

"You'd figure that it would be feeling better for us by now." I said.

"We have PTSD, Lukas." Philip said, "It's gonna be a lot longer before we're even close to being truly okay again."

"I know."

We sat in silence for a few minutes. Philip turned his head and pressed a couple of kisses to my cheek.

"I love you, Lukas." He said.

I smiled gently at him.

"I love you too." I responded softly, "I'm so glad I have you. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't."

He smiled and placed a chaste kiss on my lips.

"This is surreal, too." He said, "Us being out in front of people."

"Yeah, I know, right?" I agreed, "I called you my boyfriend in front of the guys before coming out here. I like calling you my boyfriend."

"I like it too." Philip agreed, "I'm proud of you for that. You've came so far since the start. Couple of months ago we were throwing punches, and now…"

"I'm sorry." I said, "About all of that… I feel terrible. I hit you. I should never have hit you. You were trying to help me and I treated you like dirt. Boyfriends aren't supposed to hurt each other, and I hurt you."

"Yeah, you did." Philip agreed, "But I've forgiven you for it. You don't have to keep beating yourself up for it."

"Yes I do." I argued, "I'm still surprised you've even stuck around. I would have bolted a long time ago."

"Lukas. Stop." Philip said sharply.

"It's true, Philip." I said sadly.

"I don't care." He said, "Do you know why I stuck around? I stuck around because despite everything, I still love you. Because if I'd have just abandoned you when you needed me most because it was hard, I would never have been able to forgive myself. If something happened to you again, it would kill me Lukas."

"I know it would." I said.

"You mentioned blood and now… I keep seeing you the day you were shot." He confessed, "When I pulled you from the water I thought you were dead. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. I was begging a god that I don't even believe in, not to take you from me. I thought despite everything we'd done to protect you you'd just been murdered right in front of me, and I'd never been more horrified in my life…"

His rambling stuttered to a tearful halt and I pulled him closer. He tucked himself into my side.

"…And I miss h-her so much." Philip said tearfully, "I miss my mom…"

"I know you do." I said.

"She liked you, you know that?" Philip said.

"I liked her too." I said, "I wish I'd been able to get to know her better."

"Guys?"

We turned around to find Isaac standing there staring at us.

"You okay?" He asked.

I shook my head in the negative.

"Bad memories." I said as an explanation.

"Ah." Isaac said with a nod, "I see."

He sat down next to us.

"Anything I can do?" Isaac asked.

"Just… just be here, yeah?" I asked.

"Yeah, man." Isaac said, "Always."

He reached out and squeezed my shoulder, before addressing Philip.

"If there's ever anything I can do for you guys," Isaac promised, "All you've got to do is ask. Same with Rose, same with Andy and Aaron. You're Lukas's boyfriend, and that makes you family. We take care of our family."

Philip offered him a thankful smile, before turning to address me.

"Can we get out of here?" He asked.

"Yeah, we'll hang out at my place." I said, "I'll text dad and tell him we're coming. Do you want me to text Helen or Gabe for you?"

"Text Gabe." Philip said, "He's less likely to tell us off."

I pulled out my phone as Isaac stood and moved to reenter the school.

"I'll tell the teachers that you guys needed to leave." Isaac promised, "I'll drop in after school to give you guys what you missed."

"Thanks bro, we'll see you later."

I typed out the messages.

To Gabe Caldwell: "Philip and I are going to my house. We're having a bad day."

To Dad: "Philip and I are on our way. It's not a good day."

Philip and I hopped on the bike and took off. When we got back to my place, Dad met us at the door and let us inside.

"Head on up, okay?" I told Philip softly, "I'll be up in a minute."

As soon as Philip was out of sight up the stairs, I turned to Dad. I stepped forward and he hesitantly drew me into a hug. After an awkward second, I relaxed into it.

"You okay?" Dad asked.

"Been better." I said roughly as I pulled away, "He's hurting so much, and it feels like nothing I do is helping. He misses his mom so much, and he's been having nightmares again."

"Well, I was gonna head over and visit Helen and Gabe." Dad said, "Why don't you both get some rest? A little sleep might do you both some good."

"Yeah." I said, "And Dad? Thanks for being so cool about… well, about us."

He nodded, offering a small smile and headed out the door. I headed upstairs and into my room, where Philip was already curled up under the covers on my bed. I crawled in next to him, and he cuddled up into my side, resting his cheek right above my heart.

"Dad's going to visit Helen and Gabe." I told him, "We've got the place to ourselves for a while, so we can rest."

"Sleep sounds nice." Philip said tiredly, burrowing further into my side.

I began running my fingers through his hair gently. I pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"Love you, Phil."

He laughed quietly at the pet name.

"Love you too, Luka."

I snorted a laugh of my own, hugging him tighter to me. Within minutes he was asleep, and I soon followed, curled protectively around my boyfriend in our shared rest.


	4. Isaac's Reveal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reposted because I had to edit.

I have no idea how long we were asleep before I was awoken by my phone buzzing and falling from my bedside table. At least a few hours had passed because the sky outside was a deep pink and the sun was setting. I grumbled in irritation at being forced from my dreams, which for once were very pleasant indeed.

"Whoizit?" Philip grumbled.

I unlocked the phone, to find a message from Isaac.

"I'm here. Open the door." It read.

"It's Isaac." I told him, "You can keep sleeping; I'm gonna go let him in."

I crawled out of the bed, smiling slightly as Philip pulled the covers close to him to cocoon himself within their warmth. I stumbled out of the room and to the front door. I open the door and allow Isaac to enter. He immediately hands me a folder with papers in it.

"That's all you two missed." He said, "There's not too much, and none of it is due tomorrow."

"Okay, cool." I said, "Thanks."

"Is Philip okay?" He asked, "He was pretty upset earlier."

"Yeah, he's alright now." I said quietly, "He's asleep upstairs."

"Ah. Yeah, he looked like he could use it." Isaac said, "You both do."

"Yeah… we're both still fragile." I admitted, "We both have a lot of triggers that we don't even know about yet, so we have to be careful."

"Well… if there's every anything I can do, let me know." Isaac offered.

"Yeah. Thanks." I said.

"You want to sit down for a minute?" He asked.

We moved into the living room and sat down on the couch together.

"So… you never did tell me how you and Philip met." Isaac reminded me.

"I ran into him on purpose." I admitted, "I'd seen him around school, and I watched him. He would always go to this one little store downtown, and one day I followed him and struck up a conversation with him."

"So… you stalked him." Isaac teased.

"Ha… Yeah, I guess." I said, "Anyway. We ended up hanging out, and I showed him some of the footage Rose got of me on my bike. He offered to film some stuff for me, because Rose's videos were fucking terrible. We filmed some moves and then we went to the cabin and I checked the videos out. They were perfect… one thing led to another and we ended up making out. Then shit went sideways."

"That's when the shooting happened, right?" Isaac asked.

"Yeah, we heard a car pull up." I continued, "I thought it was my dad. Philip hid under the bed, and I hid in the closet. Three guys came in draggin' another. The one guy got loose and shot the others. He saw Philip under the bed, and was gonna shoot him too. I grabbed a frying pan, and I hit the guy in the back of the head with it twice. We grabbed the gun and our clothes and ran for it. We threw the gun in a river and bolted. Everything that happened afterwards… I was just so scared of everything. Scared of the killer finding us, scared of people finding out about Philip and I and hating me for being gay… and it all snowballed and turned into a living hell."

"Lukas… you know that you could have told us." Isaac said gently, "If you had told me, or Aaron and Andy, what was going on… we could have helped you. We would have tried to help protect you. And… I gotta admit that I'm a little hurt that you thought I would hate you because you're gay."

Isaac squirmed uncomfortably in his seat as he spoke and I noticed.

"Hey… are you okay?" I asked, "I can see that something is bothering you."

"It’s just…" Isaac stammered, "I can't believe I didn't see it. The way you were struggling. I mean… I know what it's like. To feel like you have to hide yourself. I just feel like I should have seen it."

"What do you mean you know what it's like?" I asked, baffled, "How could you know?"

Isaac stared at me warily.

"It's… you wouldn't have heard about it." Isaac continued, "It was before I moved here."

Isaac moved to Tivoli about three years previously. When I first met him, he was a skinny guy, with short hair and a higher pitched voice. Before he started working out, he had been very skinny, and a few people had joked that he had a feminine figure. When he heard that, he took advantage of the school's weight room and by the end of the first year, he had gained a ton of weight and muscle tone.

"Have you, uh… ever seen me without a shirt on?" Isaac asked.

"Um… actually, I don't think I have." I said, still very confused, "Why do you ask?"

Isaac responds by closing his eyes tightly and pulling his shirt off over his head. He bunched it up and squeezed it nervously.

The first thing I noticed was that he had little hair, but the next thing I noticed was the two crescent shaped scars a couple inches below his nipples. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, as I my gaze rose to meet his. I was alarmed to see that his eyes were welling up with tears and he was shaking.

"W-What happened to you?" I asked cautiously.

"Nothing, I… the scars are from my t-top surgery." Isaac stammered shakily, "From when… from when I transitioned."

"Transitioned?" I asked, realization hitting him like a freight train, "You mean, you're…?"

"Transgender? Yeah. I am…"

I couldn't do anything besides stare. I couldn't believe it. This was probably the last thing I had ever expected Isaac to tell me. I didn't know what to say, and my silence only upset Isaac further. His resistance shattered and the tears started falling. He leapt to his feet and quickly put his shirt back on. I cursed myself silently, realizing that he had obviously mistaken my shocked silence for disgust.

"I-I'm s-sorry." He whimpered, "I-I shouldn't have s-said anything…"

He turned around to head for the door, and I finally snapped out of my daze and leapt up after him.

"Isaac, wait!"

He was almost out the door when I caught up with him. I reached out and grabbed onto his wrist.

"Don't go…"

"I'm sorry, okay!" He burst, whirling around to face me, "I shouldn't have said anything! Just forget about it! Don't tell anybody… I'll stay away from you, just don't…"

I yanked him closer, pulling him into a crushing embrace. He tensed as if he was about to be struck, but relaxed when he realized he was in no danger. He wrapped his own arms around me and clung to me, crying softly. After a few moments, I heard a creak on the stairs, and out of the corner of my eyes, I noticed a brown mop of hair disappearing back upstairs. I released him.

"You okay, now?"

"I-I think so."

"I'm not disgusted or anything, bro." I assured, "I promise. I was just surprised. This was the last thing I expected. You're still the closest thing I have to a brother. I still love you, man."

I directed Isaac back to the couch, where we both sat down again. After he gathered himself together, he made hesitant eye contact with me.

"I'm guessing you have questions?" He guessed nervously.

"Uh, yeah." I confirmed, "If you don't mind answering them."

"Yeah, it's… it's fine." He said.

"Okay. So uh, when did you transition?" I asked.

"I've been on testosterone since I was twelve." He answered shakily, still wiping away his tears, "I had my top surgery when I was fourteen."

"Okay, uh… was it hard to grow your facial hair." I asked jokingly to try and lighten the mood.

My question startled a laugh out of him, and he slapped my jokingly.

"I hate it to be honest." He admitted, "I only keep it like this because, well… with my hair this long, it makes me look more… uh."

"More like a guy?" I asked carefully.

"Yeah." He said, "I was actually thinking about getting a hair cut so I could shave it off."

"God, that'd look really different." I said, "You've never had short hair as long as I've known you."

"Yeah, I know." He said, "Uh. Anything else?"

"Um, do you mind if I ask what your birth name was?" I asked.

"Yeah, it uh… it was Isabella." Isaac answered, "Nobody at home is allowed to speak it. After I transitioned, it felt like I had been released from chains that'd been tying me down for years.

"Uh… how do you… you know, do it?" I asked awkwardly.

"I don't." Isaac deadpanned exasperatedly, "I'm bi-romantic asexual. It means I have no interest in sex or anything like that."

"Wait, you've had crushes before though…"

"Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are two totally different things." Isaac said, "I can still fall in love, I just don't have any interest I having sex. Never have."

"What does Bi-romantic mean?" I asked.

"It means I can develop romantic feelings for both girls and guys." He explained.

"Oh… I didn't know that was a thing." I said, "Do you mind if I tell Philip about this?"

"Yeah, you can. I don't mind." Isaac said, "Just, ask him to keep it quiet, yeah? I don't want anybody else to know just yet."

"Yeah sure." I promised.

"I'm uh, I'm gonna head out." Isaac said, "I think I am gonna go get that haircut. Sounds like a good idea now."

"Okay, well uh, I'll see you at school." I said.

I walked him to the door, and gave him a hug before he headed out.

I ran back upstairs to rejoin Philip. I found him sitting on the edge of my bed.

"What was that all about?" He asked.

"Isaac dropping off our homework." I said, "And uh, he told me something shocking."

"What?"

"He's uh… Isaac is transgender." I said.

Philip's eyes widened to the size of saucers, his jaw dropping.

"Wait, are you serious?"

"Yeah. He showed me the scars from when he transitioned." I confirmed, "It's true man."

"Jesus, I never would have guessed." Philip said, "That's…"

"Yeah I know man." I agreed, "He told me I could tell you, but he doesn't want anybody else finding out about it."

"I won't tell anybody." He promised.

"And try to act normally around him, please?" I asked, "I was too shocked to say anything, and he took my silence to mean I was disgusted by it. He tried to bolt from the house crying, so… yeah, be careful."

"I will." He promised.

"Good." I said.

"I'm… actually really proud of him right now." Philip said.

"I am too." I admitted.

"Do you think he'll tell anybody else?" Philip wondered.

"He might tell Aaron and Andy eventually." I guessed.

"What about Rose?" Philip asked.

I snorted a laugh.

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen." I said.

"Why not?" Philip asked.

"Because, man. They hate each other." I explained, "They've always had a very strained relationship. They've never got along. They're only civil towards each other because they're both good friends with me. If it wasn’t for me being around, they would have nothing to do with each other."

"Ah. Yeah I guess that makes sense." Philip said, "I mean, they nearly started an argument at lunch today."

"Exactly." I said with a small sigh, "I wish they could get along, but hey, what can you do?"

"Yeah. People are fucking nuts." Philip grumbled.

I laughed softly and hugged him, leaning in to place an affectionate kiss to his forehead. The next kiss was placed directly to his lips. We stared into each other's eyes, and the air in the room changed. It seemed more charged. We reclaimed each other's lips with our own, and when we separated, we were both breathless. Philip' eyes were wide, his pupils dilated with desire and arousal.

"Um… Lukas?" Philip asked.

"Yeah?"

"Do you… if you want, we could, maybe, do a bit more than kissing?" He offered breathlessly.

"I don't have any condoms." I recalled, trying to catch my breath.

"We don't have to go all the way to that." Philip said softly looking so soft and adorably innocent, "I just… I want to feel you…"

I could not hold myself back any longer and our mouths met, our tongues dancing in to explore their second homes. The kiss quickly became more forceful, a duel for control. The battle was intense, both of us at war with the other for control in the most fitting of ways. It was a duel that we were both perfectly happy to lose, but even happier to win. In the end, it was a stalemate when we pulled apart with a wet pop. Out of breath, our lips swollen and pink, we could not wait to begin again.

The feelings we felt for each other crashed upon us like a massive tsunami, rolling over us in waves of pleasure as the kisses started to travel elsewhere and hands started to roam. Every caress of fingers over the skin of our backs and chests was like electricity in our nerves that thundered back to our brains and demanded more and more. We paused once more to make sure the door was shut and locked, and after an unspoken agreement, we helped each other undress.

The temperature in the room seemed to rise by several degrees as more and more skin was displayed. I pulled Philip's shirt off and over his head, throwing it into a corner of the room before he did the same to me. Our pants quickly followed, then our underwear, until we stood before each other completely bereft of any covering. Our eyes roamed, drinking in the full sight of each other for the first time since that day in the hotel room, but this time it was different. This time we were not being hunted, not worried about a causing damage to a healing bullet wound in my shoulder. This time, we were safe. This time we were free. Philip wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly before pushing me backwards toward the bed. I flopped down onto the bed with a bounce.

Philip crawled onto the bed and over, staring down at me with wondering eyes. My eyes gave him the same treatment, taking in every inch of my boyfriend with hunger and memorizing every small detail. I reached up and caressed his cheek once before threading my fingers through his hair. He nuzzled into the touch, sighing in contentment.

"I don't know how I got so lucky." I said tenderly, "You're beautiful."

He positioned himself over me and lowered himself, until his whole body was laying flush against mine. The feeling of his warm skin pressed against mine was intoxicating, and the friction it offered was the most deliciously exquisite torture. He ground his hips once, and we both groaned at the heat, the white hot heat in our chest that we both felt as Philip buried his face in my shoulder, kissing and nipping, aiming and succeeding to coax sounds of enjoyment in the forms of whimpers and moans as our bodies moved against each other, craving the friction that the simple movement caused.

"I love you, so much." I whispered, punctuating every word with a kiss to his face.

Our movements and kisses grew faster, more frenzied and desperate, our bodies coated now with a coat of sweat. We both became obsessed with the feelings and the rest of the world faded away, time seemed to cease to exist, and the only things that existed in the world were me, Philip, and the bed we were laying upon. I was drunk with the feeling of him pressed against me, my senses on overload, and every single fiber of my body screamed in delight and begging for more. We had no concept of time, and we have no idea for how long we went on, the feelings only growing more intense as the inevitable crescendo approached.

Our mouths slammed together again, nothing more than our open mouths pressed together because we were panting and moaning incoherently, completely unable to form a single thought that was not the other's name. Soon, the friction and heat became too much and pushed us both over the edge of the cliff we had been teetering on precariously for what seemed like forever. Philip collapsed against me in exhaustion, burying his face in the crook of my neck and panting from exertion. We were both trembling, our bodies still not used to the intensity of the feelings we had just experienced. Philip raised his head, and stared into my eyes as I stared back. I love his eyes, two pools of brown the same color as melted chocolate. He rested his forehead against mine, his breath ghosting over my face.

"I love you too, Lukas." He panted softly, "More than anything."

I smiled tenderly, leaning up to press a chaste kiss to his lips.

"You make me feel safe, Philip." I whispered back.

Philip smiled softly, climbing off and heading into the bathroom. He returned with a wet washcloth, and we cleaned ourselves up. Once we were cleaned off, we fetched our boxers and pulled them back on before returning to the bed. We crawled under the covers together, and Philip curled into my side and rested his head on my chest. I held him to me, placing a kiss to the top of his head as we cuddled. It was not long before sleep started to creep in to reclaim us, and neither of us cared. We were there, with each other, in each other's arms, and that was all we cared about.

"Luka?" Philip mumbled sleepily.

"Yeah, Philip?" I asked, smiling softly at the use of the still new pet name.

"You make me feel safe too."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first time I've ever written something I consider to be smut.


	5. Transformation

Philip and I woke up the next morning feeling refreshed and relaxed. I rolled over in bed, and he immediately burrowed into my side. I placed a kiss on the top of his forehead.

"Sleep well?" I asked.

"Always do when you're here." He answered.

"I'm glad. You need more sleep." I said.

"I sleep great," He pouted, "As long as I have my favorite pillow, I'm fine."

"Oh I see how it is." I teased, "You just want me for a pillow. That hurts, man. Right here."

I pointed at my heart dramatically. Philip merely shrugged.

"What can I say, you give the best cuddles." He responded nonchalantly.

"More than just cuddles, I think." I guessed, as my hand traveled far to the south and gave a teasing squeeze.

"Oh definitely." He said, connecting our lips, "As much as I want to do it again, though… we really don't have the time."

I pouted, giving him my most pitiful sad puppy eyes.

"Can't we just skip today?" I begged pitifully.

"No, Lukas. We've missed too much as is." Philip said sadly.

"I'll make it worth your while." I offered teasingly.

"As much as I want to say yes, Lukas… we still can't." Philip said, "Besides, your dad is home. I don't think he'd be very happy if we stayed home and had sex all day."

"Damn you for being logical." I grumbled.

"Oh, get over it ya big baby." He snarked, pushing me out of the bed, "Get dressed. We gotta be there in forty five minutes."

Reluctantly, I agreed and we both got dressed.

We went downstairs, and to my surprise, Dad was making breakfast. We sat down at the table, and dug into the eggs, bacon and toast. We had only been sitting there for five minutes before I caught Dad smirking at us. When I caught him, his smirk only grew.

"Fun night, boys?"

My forehead rushed down to impact heavily with the tabletop. Poor Philip, who had been taking a drink at that moment, promptly choked on his mouthful of milk. I raised my head and directed the strongest glare I could muster at my Dad. All that my glare succeeded in doing was causing his smirk to widen even further. I rolled my eyes, and we wolfed down the rest of our breakfast in record time to rush out the door while Dad laughed behind us.

"It's your fault you're so damned loud." I snarked at Philip as we got on the bike.

"Oh, shut the fuck up." He snapped back, his face red from embarrassment, "You're no better."

We would have kept bickering, but we could not hear each other over the wind and the bike. To be honest, I wasn't even mad at my dad for embarrassing us. To be honest, I was actually somewhat glad. The fact that he was comfortable enough with Philip being my boyfriend to tease and embarrass about being loud made me feel accepted. Months ago, if somebody had told me that I would end up having a boyfriend, and being out of the closet to everybody with said boyfriend, and for my relationship to be accepted by my father… well, I would have told them they were insane and advised them to drive into the city and take a flying leap off the top of the friggin World Trade Center. It made my head spin to think of how far things had come since then.

Soon, we were pulling into the school parking lot. My attention was immediately brought to the black Silverado parked three spots down. The truck belonged to Isaac, and that was what puzzled me.

"That's unusual." I said, "Isaac is never here this early."

"He isn't?" Philip asked.

"Nope. He usually walks in right as the bell for first hour is ringing." I explained.

We made our way inside to the cafeteria to meet up with the guys to wait for class to begin. Most of the people inside the cafeteria were either slumped sleepily in their seats or feeding on the slop that the school served for breakfast, but Aaron and Andy were talking in hushed tones. When we arrived at the table, they immediately turned to us.

"Yo, Lukas!" Andy blurted, "Have you seen him yet?"

"Seen who?" I asked in confusion.

"Isaac, man." Andy clarified, "Dude, you're not gonna recognize him. I nearly shit myself, dude. He looks so different. He went to the bathroom, but he'll be back in a minute."

"Yeah, he said he was gonna get a haircut." I recalled.

"Dude, it's not just a haircut." Aaron cut in, "He came over to my place last night, and I didn't realize it was him until he spoke. He uh, told me and Andy something as well…"

"Wait, he told you guys about…" I started to say but backtracked, "He told you both about his secret?"

"You mean who _Isabella_ actually is?" Andy said carefully, "Yeah, he told us. When he came over last night and told us, the poor guy could barely stop himself from crying."

"And… you guys are cool with that?" I asked carefully, "With him being who he is?"

"Why wouldn't we?" Andy asked, "Isaac is our bro. It's all chill."

They fell silent and started staring at something behind us.

"H-Hey guys."

Philip and I turned around, and damned near had a heart attack.

If I didn't know Isaac so well, I wouldn't recognize him at all. His hair was now much shorter, styled kind of like Philip's. His facial hair was now gone, revealing more of his softer facial features. His face looked remarkably different. He looked so much younger and boyish than he did before. His clothes were different as well. He had forsaken his usual boots, hooded sweatshirt and shorts in favor of a pair of sneakers, tight black jeans and a striped button up shirt. He had also abandoned his contact lenses in favor of a pair of rectangular wire framed glasses. Overall, it was such a drastic departure from his usual look and style that it took me aback and rendered me momentarily speechless. Isaac shifted from foot to foot, and he looked very vulnerable in this new state. He had both of his hands tucked into his pockets and it looked as if he was shaking a little bit.

"Wow." I said simply, "Now that is _different_."

I held out my hand for the usual bro-handshake, but Isaac abandoned it in favor of giving me tight hug. When he pulled back, he exhaled a shuddering breath.

"How do I look?" He asked.

"You look great." I assured him.

"I am so nervous right now." Isaac admitted.

"Hey, no reason to be nervous." I said.

"Yeah, man." Philip agreed, "You look good."

"T-Thanks." Isaac said softly, "I figured, ya know… it was time for a change. You and Philip were brave enough to come out as a couple to everybody, so I figured I could at least do this for myself. I wanted to look and dress the way I actually wanted, and I was still scared of it. I thought I wouldn't look like a boy, but… It actually feels really great."

"I'm happy for you, bro." I said, patting him on the shoulder, "You really do look great."

Isaac flushed, but allowed himself a small smile.

"Thanks." He said quietly, "Everybody seems to think so. Somebody was actually flirting with me in the breakfast line a few minutes ago."

As soon as those words left Isaac's mouth, Andy and Aaron's heads immediately swiveled and their gazes locked on Isaac, with expressions on their faces that could only be described as predatory. I cringed, because I knew what was about to happen. Those two had a reputation for trying to play matchmaker, and Isaac always hated that. It had sparked many an argument, and I could sense another coming soon.

"Oh, _really_?" Andy leered with a smug smirk, "Well? Details, man!"

"It's nothing." Isaac said, waving it off, "Just some guy in our year."

Aaron and Andy leapt on this.

"Oooooooh, really?" They teased, making Isaac turn even redder, "He got a name?"

"Evan something, I think." Isaac said, his brow furrowed, "I didn't get his last name. He's tall and blonde."

"Oh, yeah. I know who you're talking about." Aaron responded, "Evan Nelson. He's on the baseball team."

"Yeah, him." Isaac agreed, "Don't get your hopes up."

"Hey, man, we know him." Andy interjected, "We could put in a good word for you…"

"NO! Absolutely not." Isaac snapped, inflating from anger, "I don't need you two going Ransom and Holster on me and trying to hook me up with everybody with a pulse!"

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked, " _Going Ransom and Holster on somebody?_ "

"It's from this web comic about a gay southern hockey player." Isaac said offhandedly, "I like it, these two both read it. Ransom and Holster were the two on the team who try to play matchmaker."

"Oh…" I said, "What's it called?"

"Check Please." Aaron answered before soldiering on in trying to convince Isaac, "And I don't see why you don't go for it, Isaac. What's the worst that can happen?"

"Do I need to list it off?" Isaac retorted angrily, "What if he reacts badly when he finds out that… well, you know?! Some people react violently to that kind of thing! Some people are okay with every letter in LGBT but the T at the end! Look at Rose! She's okay with gays, lesbians and bisexuals, but she thinks that transgender people are mentally ill!"

That got my attention immediately.

"Dude, I'm sure she's cool with it." Andy tried to say, but Isaac cut him off.

"No. She fucking isn't." Isaac snapped, "I've heard her fucking say it! A long time ago! That's why we started hating each other! I heard her say something about it, and I snapped at her, and we've hated each other ever since! So don't stand there and tell me…!"

"Isaac." Philip said sternly, "Calm down. Getting worked up isn't gonna help anything."

Isaac closed his eyes for a second, visibly trying to get his temper under control. He turned to Andy and Aaron.

"Who I date is my business." He said monotonously, "Whether I want to date at all is my decision. If you two mettle, I will not be happy. Am I clear?"

The two of them nodded.

"Good."

The rest of the lunch period was awkward as hell. When the bell rang, Philip and I were all too happy to escape.

"I can't believe Rose would think that way." I said.

"Just when you think you know a person." Philip agreed.

"I can't wait to hear her explanation for this…" I started to rant.

"No."

I turned to Philip in confusion.

"What do you mean, No?" I asked.

"Don't even think about it Lukas."

"Why the fuck not?!" I asked in outrage.

"Because, idiot, if you go shouting at her you're gonna Out Isaac in the process." Philip said firmly, "How would you have felt if I had outed you to somebody before you were ready?"

"I would have probably lost my shit." I said, realizing the sense in what he was saying, "Okay, yeah. I see what you mean. You're right. It just pisses me off."

"It doesn’t make me very happy, either." Philip agreed, "But this is something we won't be able to do anything about. This is between Isaac and Rose."

"I guess." I said angrily.

"Hey…" He said, grabbing my hand and pulling me close, "It's okay."

"No it's not." I said miserably, "How the hell am I gonna even pretend to be civil to Rose after that? How are Aaron and Andy going to do it? What if she finds out about Isaac?"

"I forget how protective you can get." Philip said, "It means you care."

"Isaac has been my best friend for years." I said, "He's like my brother, Philip. I gotta protect him."

"Isaac is a big boy, Lukas." Philip reminded me, "He's strong enough to handle any shit anybody could throw at him…"

"Philip… He was shaking." I reminded him, "He was shaking like a leaf in there because he was nervous about coming to school looking like something other than a macho, long haired, bearded tough guy. Are you entirely sure he could handle all that?"

"Our first day at school as an openly gay couple, you were terrified too." Philip reminded me, "You were shaking, and so wired up that you seemed like even the slightest provocation could send you leaping out of your shoes. But despite that, we did just fine."

"I know, and you're right, but still…" I said, "I'm just saying that if it gets out, if he comes out as trans and it explodes, I'm gonna go to war with the first person who says anything against him, and I'm not gonna let you stop me."

"I'm not gonna try to stop you, Lukas." Philip assured me with a smirk, "I'm gonna be the one to throw the second punch."


	6. Unexpected Surprise.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philip receives the shock of his life...

After school was over, we made plans to hang out with Isaac. We loaded my bike into the back of his truck, and went to get something to eat. We went to a diner in Red Hook and picked up food, and I took the chance to discuss the situation with Isaac.

"So… what are we gonna do about Rose?" I asked.

"Lukas… I thought we agreed to let this go?" Philip asked in annoyance.

"We agreed that I wouldn't confront her for being an ignorant asshat." I corrected, ignoring Isaac's snort at my wording, "We didn't agree that I wouldn't ask Isaac his opinion."

"Ignorant Asshat." Isaac chuckled, "Oh please tell me I can use that."

"Yeah, go ahead." I said with a smug smirk, causing Philip to roll his eyes, "Seriously though. What if she finds out?"

Isaac sighed heavily, staring into his glass at his milkshake.

"I-I don't know." He admitted, "I-I… I know what she would do. I just… I don't know what I would do."

"If she said anything to you," Philip interjected, "All of us would be on her like piranhas attacking a bloody steak."

"Piranha on steak, huh?"

"Well, it's accurate, isn't it?" Philip asked.

"Well, yeah." I agreed.

"You would go Sith Lord on her ass." Isaac decided.

Philip laughed.

"Okay Darth Besser…" He teased.

"You know, I actually went online and used one of those stupid Sith name generators once." Isaac said.

"What was it?" Philip asked.

"Darth Virulous." He said.

"That actually sounds pretty cool." Philip said, "I wonder what mine would be?"

"Hold on," Isaac said, pulling out his phone and bringing up the website, "You gotta answer questions and it generates the name for you."

Philip took the phone from him, and looked at the screen. After a few minutes, he raised an eyebrow.

"Darth Resilious." He read out, "Because it says I'm resilient."

"Well, that much is true." I agreed, "Let me see it, I'll take it."

I took the phone from Philip and typed in my own answers.

"Darth Secludous." I read out, "Because I have my secrets and prefer my privacy and seclusion."

"Makes sense."

"Still think it's stupid." I said.

"BLASPHEMY!" Isaac blurted and pointed at me, and several other patrons of the diner starred at us with furrowed brows.

"Do you have to be so damned loud?"

"Well… yeah." Isaac said condescendingly, "Of course I do."

"Ugh, don't start bickering." Philip begged.

I decided not to torture my boyfriend for once, so I just went back to eating and drinking my milkshake. We had been there for a half hour when Philip's phone started buzzing. He picked it up and checked.

"Helen needs to talk to me about something."

We hurried up, headed out to the truck, and headed straight to the farm. When we got there, I could tell that Philip was getting nervous. Helen met us at the door and ushered us into the living room. As we all sat on the couch, Helen and Gabe took their seats in the chairs.

"What's going on?" Philip asked nervously.

"We received a call from CPS about twenty minutes ago." Helen revealed cautiously.

Philip tensed, and grabbed my hand in his in a vice grip.

"Why? Are they taking me away, or something?" He stammered fearfully, "I don't want to leave, I love it here!"

"Philip, calm down bud." Gabe rushed to comfort, "They aren't taking you away from us."

"Then why are they calling?" I asked.

"Because, Philip… they found your father." Gabe revealed.

His revelation was met with complete silence. Philip's jaw dropped and his eyes widened to the size of satellite dishes in disbelief as the color drained from his face even further.

"M-My father?" He croaked, "But…How, and why are they just doing this now?"

"After everything happened with the murders," Helen said, "The FBI did a DNA test and found a match. Now that the case involving you and Lukas is completely resolved, the information was released, and CPS informed us. His name is William Hudson."

"Why even bother?" Philip asked.

"Because when he was informed, he stated that he wanted to meet you." Helen continued, "He's driving in tomorrow."

"Well, what if I don't want to meet him?" Philip burst out angrily, "I mean, he never cared before! Why start now? I've never met him, I know nothing about him! He left us, and now after all this he decides that he wants to be a part of my life? Fuck that. He's too late."

"Philip… he claims that he never knew about you." Gabe reveals, "We talked to him ourselves, on the phone. He was telling the truth, we could tell. He sounded heartbroken that he'd missed so much. And as much as you may hate it kiddo, he is your biological father and we have no legal right to refuse him visitation. He's got no criminal record, no mental illnesses, he's never had so much as a speeding ticket."

"…Really?" Philip asked softly, "I just… I always thought he'd be an abusive addict like one of my mom's old boyfriends. Mom always… well, she never said anything to make me think otherwise."

"Well, either way." Helen continued, "He wants to meet you. As soon as possible."

"How soon is that?" I asked.

"Tomorrow." Helen said, "After school."

Philip stared off into space for a moment before nodding.

"O-Okay. I guess that's okay." He agreed.

"Alright, I'll let him know." Helen said.

Philip took the opportunity presented and fled the room up the stairs. Isaac and I shared a quick look before we followed him up the stairs. When we walked into his room, he was sitting on his bed with his knees pulled up to his chest and his head resting on his knees. I sat down next to him on the bed and put a comforting hand around him. Isaac sat down in the desk chair and stayed silent.

"You okay?" I asked gently.

"I just… never thought I'd ever meet him." Philip whispered, "I always thought he ran off on us. I always expected the worst. I hated him. But now he wants to meet me, and he's claiming he never knew about me in the first place? I don't know what to think, but if it's true and he's really a good person… then I want to meet him. I just… I like it here now. I don't want to leave. I don't want him to take me away."

"We wouldn't give in without a fight." I assured, for which I received a small smile and a soft kiss.

We sat around, hanging out for the rest of the night until Isaac and I had to leave. After Isaac dropped me off at my house, I went inside and collapsed onto my bed. I had only been laying down for about fifteen seconds before Dad came in carrying a basket full of my clean laundry.

"Thanks." I said.

"You're welcome." He said, doing a double take at the expression on my face, "What's the matter?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Something's bothering you." He reiterated, "The look on your face right now practically screams it."

"*Sigh*. They found Philip's dad." I revealed, "He wants to meet Philip. He's coming to meet him tomorrow after school."

"Damn, really?" Dad asked in shock, "How much do you know about the guy?"

"His name's William Hudson." I said, and Dad's expression immediately lit up in recognition, "You ever heard of him?"

"Yeah, I have kid." Dad said, "He's a civil rights lawyer. One of the best. Based in Manhattan."

"Oh… that actually makes me feel better about him meeting Philip." I said.

"He'll be fine." Dad assured, "Even if the guy turns out to be an asshole, Philip's a strong kid. He can handle a triple homicide, he can handle an asshole absentee father."

"I hope so."

We talked for a little bit afterwards, before I started to get drowsy and bid him goodnight.

The next day was tense all day. Isaac dropped by and picked me up, and together we went and fetched Philip. The whole day, Philip was anxious. Nothing we did to try to calm him down worked, so eventually I just stopped trying. When the day was finally over, we all piled back into the truck and headed back over to Helen and Gabe's. When we pulled up the driveway, the first thing we all noticed was the car parked next to Helen's Jeep.

"Holy shit?" Isaac blurted out, "That thing is fucking beautiful."

I had to agree even though I had absolutely no idea what kind of car it was. It was obviously not American, it was too curvy to be. It was a deep blue color, and had four doors. It looked familiar, but I couldn't place where I had seen it before.

"What kind of car is that?" I asked.

"Aston Martin Rapide." Isaac answered, "Fucking beauty."

We rolled to a stop next to it, and Isaac couldn't resist the chance to ogle the machine up close. He made a deep moaning noise that one would normally expect to be heard only when a person was close to orgasm, and Philip and I both shot disturbed looks at him.

"What?" He blustered, "Can you blame me? Do you know how much these things cost? I would literally chop off a nut to have one of these things… well, I would if I had any."

"Wait, what?" I asked confused, "What do you mean, _if you had any_?"

"I mean, I literally don't have any." Isaac deadpanned, "I haven't had the bottom surgery done yet. I'm supposed to have it done this summer so I have time to recover before we all go to college."

"Oh." I said nervously, "Sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"Don't be sorry, Lukas." He rushed to assure as we walked up the steps onto the porch, "You are allowed to ask questions. I won't get mad because you're curious. It's actually comforting to know that you're comfortable enough with it to ask questions about it."

We stopped in front of the door, and we could hear laughter from inside. Philip gulped nervously, and slipped his hand into mine and gripped tightly. Isaac patted him on the back comfortingly.

"We're right here." He assured, "We won't let anything happen."

Philip nodded and took a calming breath before we all walked through the door. The conversation coming from the living room dulled, and as we walked into the room, Philip began to shake.

For the first time ever, father and son looked at each other through wide eyes.

Standing before us, staring at us through wide eyes, is a man who looked like an older doppelganger of Philip. They looked remarkably similar. For a civil rights lawyer who made a ton of money (according to my Dad's research), the only showing of his wealth was the car sitting in the driveway outside. He was dressed modestly and casually, wearing white button up shirt and blue jeans, with black tennis shoes and a leather jacket very similar to the one that Philip once owned.

"…Wow." Philip said nervously, "That's uncanny."

William chuckled.

"Truer words have never been spoken." He said, his voice very soft and with a bit of a Brooklyn accent, "They told me that you looked like me, but I wasn't expecting a clone."

Philip cracked a very small smile, and William took it as an encouraging sign and took a slow step closer.

"It's good to meet you." William said gently, "I'm just… so sorry that it didn't happen a lot sooner, Philip. If I had known… I would have come a lot sooner."

The man seemed genuinely distraught over the fact that he was only just now meeting his seventeen-year-old son. I shared a look with Isaac and raised a questioning eyebrow, nonverbally asking his opinion on William's sincerity. Isaac observed him for a second before nodding. Philip released my hand and strode forward to stand right in front of William.

"I… I'm glad to hear that." Philip admits, "I gotta admit, you're nothing like I expected you to be. I expected…"

"A drugged up brute?" William finished my thought for me.

"Well… yeah." Philip said awkwardly, "Sorry… Um, I don't know what to call you."

"Don't be sorry." William said, "And just call me Bill. Everybody else does."

"Okay." Philip said, "I do have to ask though… why didn't you ever know about me?"

"Because Anne never told me." Bill explained, "Your mom and I, we met when we were eighteen. We started dating, and we fell in love."

"What happened, then?" Philip cut in, "What happened for things to go so wrong?"

"Your grandparents died." Bill said simply, a glint of sadness in his expression, "They uh… they were killed in a severe car accident about five months after your mom turning twenty. Giant pile up on the interstate caused by a semi truck carrying lumber. Killed a ton of people. It was… it was horrifying. That's when she started using. She managed to keep it hidden from me for a while."

"How did you find out?" I asked.

Bill looked up at me in surprise. It seemed as though he had forgotten Isaac and I were there.

"I don't believe we've been introduced, Mr…?" Bill prompted.

"Lukas. Lukas Waldenbeck." I introduced, moving forward to shake his hand, "I'm Philip's boyfriend."

Philip tensed immediately, looking between Bill and me nervously. Bill noticed this immediately.

"You don't have to be nervous, Philip." He assured, "I'm a civil rights lawyer. I've fought for LGBTQ rights since I first started in this business. It's nice to meet you, Lukas. Who's your friend?"

Isaac stepped forward.

"I knew I recognized you from somewhere." Isaac said, "I've seen you on TV taking shots at Westboro Baptist Church. I'm Isaac. Isaac Besser."

"Good to meet you too, Isaac." Bill said, "How about we sit down and make ourselves comfortable?"

Isaac, Philip and I again squeezed onto the couch, while Bill took the chair.

"Now, to answer Lukas's question…" Bill continued, "I walked in on her doing it one day about a month and a half after the funeral. She started apologizing and crying. I asked her some questions, which she answered the best she could. About a week later, we went and stayed at a hotel in Atlantic City for a weekend. That first night, we were… intimate."

His eyes flicked to Philip, and we all understood the implication that he was referring to the day Philip was conceived. Philip turned slightly red, but nodded for him to continue.

"We were lying in bed, and I suggested that she get help to kick her addiction." Bill continued, "I told her I would pay for her to go to rehab. I fell asleep, and when I woke up, I was alone in bed. She left a note, telling me she was sorry and asking me not to come looking for her."

"I'm sorry…" Philip offered.

"Yeah, so am I." Bill agreed, "I was heartbroken… I loved her more than anything. I felt abandoned, and for a while, I was angry, bitter. I through myself into my schoolwork, and eventually it all became just a memory… Imagine my surprise when a FBI agent and somebody from Child Protective Services comes knocking on my door saying that I have a seventeen year old son living up in Tivoli."

"Bet that was a huge shock." Philip guessed.

"Oh, fuck yeah." Bill said, "They showed me the DNA test, and I fainted. When I woke back up, they gave me your file and told me a few things before they left."

"Um… h-how much did they tell you about me?" Philip asked nervously.

"Your name, your age and where you were." Bill continued, "They said the rest was in your file."

"So… how much do you know?"

"Nothing." Bill answered simply, "I didn't read the file. Your past is yours to reveal, not mine to read. I want to get to know you, but not that way. That's not getting to know somebody, that's invading their privacy. Not a good foundation to build a relationship on."

Philip sighed in relief, and nodded. I knew, of course, that Philip had secrets about his past. Secrets that I was not privy to. Dark secrets, even. I knew, though, that he wasn't ready for me to know, and that he would tell me when he was ready. He knew I would be ready and waiting to hear when the time came.

"Thanks." Philip said.

"You don't have to thank me." Bill assured him.

A short silence fell.

"So… how long do I have?" Philip asked sadly.

"What do you mean?" Bill asked in confusion.

"Who much time do I have left in Tivoli?" Philip reiterated, "Now that you've found me…"

"I'm not gonna uproot you, Philip." Bill said seriously, "You've got a life here. A good one, despite the drama it took to get here. I'm not gonna force you to give that up. You're safe here, and you're happy. You have friends, a boyfriend, and good guardians to take care of you. I'm not gonna destroy that."

"…Oh. O-Okay." Philip said, and the three of us all exhaled a collective sigh of relief.

"I do want to get to know you, though." Bill continued, "You're my son. I want to be in your life. Maybe after school some days and on weekends we can get together. Get to know each other."

"Yeah, I-I'd like that." Philip said, a teary smile on his face, "Can… Can I give you a hug?"

Bill chuckled, and stood from his chair.

"You don't even have to ask, Philip." He answered.

Philip crossed the room and allowed his father to wrap his arms around him. Philip almost immediately melted into the embrace. The feelings he was experiencing overwhelmed him, and he began to softly cry.

For once, the tears were of happiness and joy, rather than sadness and fear.

 

 


End file.
